Do you care what people think of you? Whatever your answer to this question is, I’m almost certain that you care more than you think you do. There is nothing wrong with that – we are social species, and the way others react to us matters regardless of what motivational posts may say. However, if we don’t manage how we react to others’ views of us, then we can develop one fear that people are often unaware of. The fear of success.
What is the fear of success?
It’s a subconscious idea that you will be worse off if you are successful. Allow me to explain. The less power, responsibility, and fame you have in the world, the smaller the number of people that criticise you. Sure, people may think you are a failure, but their high ego means that they ignore you rather than attack you. Anything from starting a business, training to be an athlete, or becoming Insta famous, all lead to more haters. Many people are naturally cynical or envious, so the more influence you have, the more people will criticise you and your ideas. Normally, people also get a lot of support and fans, but humans are psychologically wired to care more about negatives than positives.
When we have to take action to achieve our goals and follow our dreams, the idea is that we would be making our life better – more joyful and purposeful. However, when subconsciously we know that it would mean exposing ourselves to the world, then we start to wonder if it is worth it. We start to anticipate the world’s reactions to our success and usually highly exaggerate them. Combine this with the difficulty of dealing with procrastination, that we may have more responsibilities, and it is no wonder that so many people give up or don’t even start anything. This is the fear of success.
Why is it on the rise?
Social media has made it incredibly easy to criticise people anonymously and whilst before this was reserved to controversial figures, now anyone is a potential target. Trolling and finding any excuse to hate on someone is becoming the norm. In some countries, success is compared to cheating the system – i.e. if you have managed to become successful in these tough conditions, then you must have done something immoral.
With the news being filled with more and more people struggling, it’s becoming shameful to be proud of success. All these factors means that people fear the consequences of success.
How to deal with the fear of success?
Most fears are somewhat irrational, and fear of success is no different. The way to stop it affecting you is to internalise that any problems are miniscule compared to the joy and purpose success brings. If you can deal with all the other difficulties in achieving success, then you have the strength to deal with any hate. And there is always ways to delegate unwanted responsibilities that come with success.
Fear of success is often overthought, especially because of the unrealistic bias we see on social media. Realistically, most people aren’t famous or big enough to get the onslaught that some celebrities or business owners gets. We aren’t all going to be Elon Musk, and most people don’t want that anyway. But to have this fear take away your dreams or goals would be worse than any criticism you may or may not get. And when you realise that humans will be humans, hate doesn’t push you down, it motivates you, because hate is proof that you are achieving and growing.
