One thing that genuinely saddens me about the world today is the growing apathy people seem to have toward one another. This is likely a direct consequence of deep-rooted capitalism, further amplified by social media algorithms, but the result is that many people now feel cruel or indifferent.

I don’t expect everyone to be a saint—I’m certainly no angel myself—but publicly belittling others and their individual struggles strikes me as nothing less than unclassy, at best, and outright bullying, at worst.

The issue is that both genders engage in this behavior, but in different ways, driven by their unique struggles and perspectives. For instance, a man will never truly understand the fear a woman feels when walking alone at night. While men are also victims of violent attacks, it’s true that women face different threats. Even the most passive of men tend to have an instinctual drive toward physical confrontation, whereas women may need to consciously develop this trait. When women express concerns about safety, especially regarding men, it isn’t because they believe all men are dangerous. It’s simply that in such a situation—being alone at night—they can’t afford to risk misjudging a man’s intentions. It’s safer for her to assume the worst, even if the odds of it being true are slim.

Sadly, when issues that predominantly affect one gender are brought up, responses often drown out the conversation. Instead of listening, people respond with defensiveness. Women, understandably, want to see improvements, while men resent being blamed as a group for the actions of a few. This always sparks a blame game on social media, where nothing constructive is achieved, and both sides walk away frustrated and misunderstood.

I recently came across a video showing statistics revealing that young men are underperforming in comparison to young women in how many men are in higher education, employment, and even earning less than women in western countries. The mental health issues affecting men are also higher.

Given that equal pay and mental health are issues that feminist groups are very vocal about, one might expect some empathy toward young men struggling with these issues. Yet, the majority of the top-rated comments from women were dismissive, blaming men for their own problems. Comments like “Just deal with it and be a good provider,” “Even more reasons women don’t need men,” and “Imagine how bad you must be to do worse than women in a patriarchal society” were common.

This response reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of the current world dynamics. Many women believe that society benefits all men, but in reality, it primarily benefits the top percentage, while leaving the majority of men struggling just as much if not more than the majority of women. There are two key factors at play here. The first is that everything a man does is, at some level, to prove himself worthy of women. Even when it doesn’t seem like it, men are constantly competing with each other and will sometimes sacrifice their partners’ needs just to feel more deserving of them. While this may seem paradoxical, it’s the way the male’s brain is wired. The second factor is that a powerful man can fulfill the desires of multiple women. This is not an ideal situation for women, but it has been evident across history, cultures, and even species that not every man has access to sex. In fact, many men today rarely—or never—experience it.

While it’s not a woman’s responsibility to make men worthy of them, ignoring the fact that society is failing many men only exacerbates the problem. Today, many women don’t need a man to provide for them, as they can earn their own money. They don’t necessarily want children, so they don’t need a partner for fatherhood. Many women also prefer to share a man who is more powerful and interesting than to risk being mistreated by someone not as higher up in the sexual marketplace. It’s understandable that women have taken matters into their own hands after being failed by the system in the past. However, the current system is failing the majority of men, and when men are failed by society, they can become dangerous, quickly.

For men who see little chance of reaching the ultimate goal in life—to be worthy of women—there are two choices:

• Withdraw from society
• Change society

Both of these options are dangerous, but the second one, in particular, is what is fueling the rise of extremist views. This could potentially lead to world wars or other events where the male population is reduced (thus lowering competition for women) or where women become more dependent on individual men (increasing the one-on-one dynamic). These scenarios are harmful to everyone, yet the only things preventing such a catastrophe from unfolding are porn and, to some extent, nuclear weapons.

So, what can be done to reverse this apathy without resorting to extreme actions?

Personally, I think this is part of a natural cycle that has played out over millennia and may be difficult to break. It’s far more likely that sex dolls will keep men occupied and prolong this cycle, rather than a sensible solution being found. Why? Because a sensible solution would require both genders to listen to each other’s struggles and become empathetic. It would require the revival of communities on a large scale and a strong social shift where behaviors like free sexual expression are shunned by peer pressure. The chances of that happening anytime soon? Close to zero.