Figuring our what you want the most right now
Most people struggle with this so much that they spend years not progressing in anything. There is no correct answer here, and for many people, the only way to decide is for trial and error. The choice comes down to the following and then can be further narrowed down:
- Health (including mental health)
- Intimate Relationships
- Friends and Family
- Finances
- Experiences and Travelling
- Spirituality
You don’t need money to improve
Some people will tell you that you need money to be able to have good health, to be in a worthwhile relationships, to travel and do cool stuff. Of course having more money is better than not, but many incredible experiences can be done cheaply or even free. There are also many people without a dime who meet incredible partners. The truth is, if you are not ready to make big financial leaps because other parts of your life are lacking, then it will be so much more difficult to make yourself do the things you need to, to be able to increase your income significantly.
That said, finances does make things easier, so if you are completely lost for what you should focus on first, focus on increasing your finances – savings, investments BUT do not lock yourself down. Buying a house to rent out is wise but buying a house to live in when you aren’t sure what you want out of life can lock you down a path for years. The point of this course is to give you more options in life and locking yourself to the rat race is not a good option.
Doing the wrong thing because others tell you it should be your priority will slow you down
Sometimes, certain things require a minimum amount of money. Say you have a certain medical problem that needs X amount of cash to solve. Then your immediate actions aren’t how to start a business. It’s how to make and save cash predictably. Get a second job, deliver food, restrict your spending on materialistic things. Do whatever it takes to fix that problem, then figure out your next steps.
If you choose to do something that isn’t what you truly need right now, you will know it because you won’t feel right. It might take some weeks, but you will know, something will be causing you more pain and need sorting out. Trust your gut on this.
It’s not possible to significantly improve multiple things at once
Most people in the world do not become much more than average, do not reach their true potential, and live life with too much uncertainty. It’s not necessarily a bad life but if you want to live to have full control of your experiences and goals, then you need focus. Chasing every new shiny thing, being unable to say no to things that are good but do not align with your goals right now, not having the self-awareness and discipline to stick to improving one thing at a time. All these things will delay you.
The fastest way to progress isn’t to do many things at once. It’s to focus on one thing until you do it so well you can do it without thinking. Then you can focus on something else while retaining the skills gained and using them instinctively.
If you try to progress multiple things at once, you will get frustrated by the slower progress, by the constant need to divide your attention, and eventually burn out and give up.
Imagine two different scenarios:
In the first case, you realise that you have been neglecting your health for a while. You are not confident in the way your body looks and it’s affecting you negatively because you want to be in better shape for yourself. You also want to quit your job and start a business so you can have better control of your finances. However, you can feel it internally that reaching a level of fitness first will give you more confidence in all aspects of your life and is the bigger pain point in your life. So, you initially set up a goal of spending 6 months on various forms of exercise and better nutrition and then you will evaluate whether you want to quit your job and start a business.
In the second scenario, you also want the same two things, but you decide to start both at the same time. You keep your job but go part time and spend the rest of the juggling exercise, nutrition, and start-up activities. Occasionally you miss your daily goals and it starts to become frustrating as missing one goal on fitness demotivates you for your own business. The extra financial pressure of going part time makes you burn out occasionally, so you start taking more and more cheat days for the quick gratification, that further demotivates you. Eventually you either achieve mediocre results or give up on both tasks.
It is clear which scenario is better. It’s not that wanting both things like in the second scenario is wrong, it’s just that unless you already have the health skills or the business skills so that you already know how to deal with difficult situations, you will not have the time and focus to achieve a good outcome on both fronts.
The 5 steps to ensure that you stay on track
Once you have picked something and it feels right, you need to do 5 very important things:
- Always prioritise actions that get you closer to the next level in what you have picked. Learn to say no to people that take away time away or coincide with your scheduled time for these tasks
- Reward yourself after completing any task related to your objective. No matter how small it is. Learn to feel good for the small wins.
- Only track your progress on the thing that you are focusing now. Do not get distracted by the fact that you won’t be making much progress in other areas.
- Focus on 80% action, 20% reflection. Spending significant of time researching optimum solutions won’t get you there faster because you are not taking enough action
- If you feel like you are not making enough progress, spend money on a coach. If you need a dating coach and have to spend your savings for it but you know that you need to improve your relationships skills, then it’s worthwhile. You can make the money back.*
*Caveat is, don’t take loans if you can help it. Loans slow you down because they force you to focus on them even if other matters are more pressing. Combine that with bad luck and you may end up in a horrible situation.
Remember the 4 step cycle to life progress from the first lesson?
- Find your current biggest pain point. This is harder than you think
- Focus time you have available on improving that pain point as shown above
- Improve your level to a point where it is no longer your biggest pain point. This could be weeks, months or even years
- Repeat steps 1 to 3
