The majority of the world are good people. Just misunderstood. The more I question people, the more I realise this is true. With 8 billion people and a system that encourages independence, we are all lost in a sea of noise and many people feel irrelevant. People want to be heard.  They want to matter.

And sometimes, the easiest way to feel like you matter is to hurt people. To say hurtful things. To do stuff that satisfies that thirst for relevance.

I’ve been searching for answers for the causes of some extreme personality disorders and how difficult it is to find a common factor on the cause and symptoms. It’s weird that sometimes totally opposite causes can result in the same symptoms, and sometimes the same cause will result in two totally opposite symptoms.

The one thing that I believe is a common factor? The feeling of relevancy. A person would both cause the evilest pain and endure a torture of hell if it means they will stay relevant.

This is why when people have victim mentality tend to form groups with others who have similar ideas, often to belittle and hate on others. It is their way of being relevant.

How can these be good people then? Because the world isn’t black and white. If you remove the anomalies of truly evil people, most people do more good than bad. But the bad actions often scream louder. Drama and negativity always get more attention. So, if you want to stay relevant, what do you do? You focus on the negative. On the drama. It doesn’t matter if you are right or wrong, as long as you get attention.

To use this knowledge in your life – be curious and not judgmental. When you treat people and give them the attention that they crave for other things than the negative aspects, you give people a true chance to shine. To show you that they are not as bad as they seem. They may not be saints and their lives may not be the most interesting or compatible to yours, but yet you will find that deep down – they have good intentions.