The entertainment of self help
When you get into self-help, what are the things that most people do?
Read the books most relevant to their problem, sign up for some podcasts, start seeing relevant motivational posts on all social channels, and occasionally sign up for some courses or coaching.
The majority of these are forms of either entertainment or procrastination. For example, one of the things that has definitely helped me in my life is to focus on one main part of my life at a time. I got the idea from the book “The One thing”. While I think the book is great, it can be summarised in one sentence –
“Pick the most important part of your life right now, and dedicate a certain amount of hours every day to complete the one task that will get you closer to your goal, without allowing distractions during those hours.”
Is the book still good? Yes – because it is entertaining. By that I mean that it’s interesting to read and feels like we are doing something useful. But really, this isn’t rocket science. There is no need for countless examples of the principle. Sure, maybe one or two to give the process some credit but certainly not 100+ pages.
Do I have a problem with people reading the book? No. I think it’s better than not reading it at all. My issue is that humans have limited amount of time, and often we spend it in ways that seem good but do not get us closer to where we want to be.
Is it because people don’t know what to do? No. Even if you are indecisive, it is better to pick something and give it a good try, fail/give up and move on then spend months contemplating.
It is because people do not enjoy the process of what they want to do – it’s not entertaining. People can watch countless videos of weight loss influencers but will not find a sport they find equally or even more enjoyable to actually go and lose weight.
What is the solution to doing what you need to do?
Make whatever it is you need to do entertaining. Even if it is the most boring task, find a way to make it fun. Do it while listening to the most cheesy music. Reward yourself with the best chocolate cake after it’s completed. Scroll on Tiktok for 10 minutes after. Find friends you enjoy spending time with to do it with them – yes even starting a business (as long as they also trustworthy and capable!). Whatever it is, doing the task needs to become just as or even more entertaining than watching self-help videos.
Why is self-help made in a way that is entertaining?
Two reasons:
First – any self-help that is not entertaining will not be read/watched by hardly anyone even if it is the most amazing thing in the world. So you can either write a best seller that is read by 10s of millions of people and maybe 0.1% of those people take action and thus help at least 10,000 people. Or you can write it in it’s most functional form, get it read by 100 people and only help 100 people.
Second reason – Everybody has an agenda
If I have a very good idea for a self-help book that can be explained in 10 pages functionally, how likely am I to make a best seller? Zero. Add in quotes from famous people, stories that are relevant to the idea, persona examples that relate to the people reading it and you’ve got the horoscope bible for making lots of dollar. It will even feel good that because it became a best seller, that you did actually help more people because of the first reason.
So if I was to write a self-help book, I would do the same. I don’t judge.
How is this blog any different?
It isn’t. It’s mostly entertainment. I try to be as straight to the point as possible but I’m not the best writer yet and I also suffer from the same agenda to try and entertain so that you come back and read more.
What should I do then?
Allocate time. If you have 2 hours a day to spend on whatever it is you want to improve, dedicate 5 of those days to doing tasks that add direct value and 2 days for learning + entertainment. It doesn’t have to be exactly like this, but keep the majority of your time on action, and less on education because most self-help education is just entertainment.
So, if you are starting a business, Spend 5 days directly trying to sell your product. 2 Days on evaluation and learning techniques on sales and marketing.
If you want to get into a relationship, spend 5 days going out to activities where you can meet compatible partners or on dates and 2 days trying to learn how to improve your flirting skills. If you want to get healthier – spend 6 days cooking healthy meals, 5 days of doing exercise, and 1-2 days trying to figure out the “perfect” program.
