Most people are gamblers. Not in the casino style of throwing money at roulette or blackjack. They are gambling with their life on one big event saving them from their current life.
The business they will finally open, the relationship that will cure their boredom, or the magic pill of motivation that will keep them in the gym for longer than a few months.
Why is gambling with our lives a problem? Because society is set up just like the casino – the house always wins. The difference and the good thing with life is that, unlike the casino, you can learn to count cards to get a small advantage without being thrown out.
The solution to stopping gambling is simple but extremely difficult. It is consistent, disciplined actions that continuously take you out of your comfort zone. You should hardly ever be in a position where you are not out of your comfort zone in one area of your life, whether that is health, relationships, finances, or spirituality.
Being out of your comfort zone is all relative. If you are starting from a position where you have stayed in your comfort zone for too long, do not try to compare yourself to others and think you need to do what they are doing. If you do that, you will feel too out of touch and give up without crushing the limiting beliefs that keep you stuck.
Limiting beliefs are the ‘levels’ that are hard to regress from once broken. What I mean is that there are three stages in any experience:
- I’m in my comfort zone, and I have limiting beliefs about X
- I’m outside my comfort zone, and I’m taking steps to see if these limiting beliefs are valid
- I’ve conquered my previous limiting beliefs, and now this is my new comfort zone.
At stage 3, we must find the next set of limiting beliefs to crush.
Isn’t this exhausting? Always being in a state of lack of control, with new problems, challenges? The quick answer is no. This is what keeps us alive. Humans need problems and responsibilities to feel relevant. To have a reason to wake up. We often only solve the problems that maintain our comfort zone. We go to work to pay the bills. We get drunk to get some entertainment. There is nothing wrong with occasionally doing that, as long as you realise that you need a break not to burn out but will soon return to the path of discomfort.
What is the first step that most gambling or alcohol addicts need to take to begin the process of healing? To admit to themselves that they have a problem. Most of us have too much of an ego to admit that we are addicted to chasing fairy tales while staying in the comfort zone that almost guarantees we will never reach them.
I say almost because even with gambling addicts, a tiny select few are extremely lucky and win big. That’s the carrot on the stick effect. However, even those that win normally lose it all soon after because they haven’t gone through the discomfort and learning phases to understand the true value of wealth or achievement.
And if our ego is getting in our way of being honest with ourselves, then there is another scary truth. When we can’t be honest with ourselves, we can’t be honest with others either. This leads to one of two things. You are either good enough to manipulate others into your reality and keep them stagnant too, because misery loves company, or you are not good enough, and others can feel your dishonest energy, pushing away the people who you want in your life.
Do you want to start taking disciplined, consistent action outside your comfort zone? Admit you have a problem. Release the need to be ideal, release the ego and accept the challenges that will come your way.
